One of my closest friends may be getting catfished, but


One of my closest friends may be getting catfished, but

One of my closest friends may be getting catfished, but

My friend, who I’ll call Jane, is 22 and has never been in a relationship. She’s very into social media (Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, etc.) and during the pandemic, she downloaded Tumblr and liked a picture of a guy with a decent following on the app who I’ll call Ben. He messaged her, they started talking in March, and have been speaking regularly since. Their conversations have unsurprisingly become romantic and she seems to have really fallen for him. He seems to be super into her as well, based on what she’s told me. They converse primarily on Snapchat, but they follow each other on other social media and have each other’s numbers.

He says that he’s a car mechanic who wants to get into real estate. He’s 24 and from Toronto, which is more than a stone’s throw away from New York. He comes from an Indian family, and she claims that he invited her to a family wedding. While he was at the wedding, he sent her videos and told her that that’s what their wedding would be like. She said that she’s been thinking about what would happen if it worked out long term, and I don’t want to squash her hopes, but it worries me that she seems to be getting a bit ahead of herself.

I don’t want to bury the lede here so I’ll be honest: I have NO evidence that Ben isn’t who he says he is. He is definitely the person in his social media pics. I just have a feeling that there is something off and I’m not sure what to do. I’m very concerned for my friend, for a few reasons:

She’s never been in any type of relationship, and to my knowledge, hasn’t really had interest in dating until now. In my opinion, she’s a bit naive and doesn’t seem to grasp that not everyone who you connect with is a good romantic partner, even if Ben is exactly who he says he is.

She seems to be taking everything he says at face value and doesn’t seem interested in checking into him

Ben says he is from Toronto, so there’s a ton of distance between them.

The kicker: they’ve never talked on the phone or FaceTimed. Again, I know he’s the guy in the pictures, so why won’t they FaceTime?

They’ve been talking for months, but she only mentioned him to our friend group last week, and we’re her closest friends. My other friend and I had a feeling she was talking to someone, but she was very dodgy and secretive.

Now that it’s out in the open, she really wants to go see him in person, and asked if we would go with her. Of course we said yes, and we’d never let her go on her own. More than anything, I’m concerned about her safety and general emotional well-being. I mentioned the wedding invite and used the word “claims,” mainly because I think that she might be stretching the truth to make it sound better to us. Jane is very smart and I think she’s embarrassed about the way it comes off.

I need advice on how to talk to her about managing her expectations and get her to understand that even if he’s telling the truth about everything, he may have bad intentions. I need to do it in a way that won’t make her shut down and potentially go through with a meetup on her own.

I can’t explain why I don’t trust it — it’s just a gut feeling that something isn’t right. Any advice is much appreciated!

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Published at Thu, 25 Nov 2021 05:27:01 GMT

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